Asian Girlfriend, American Boyfriend – Bound For Bitter Clash?

The “Asian girlfriend” phenomenon grew to epic proportions with that ugly brides-for-sale scandal. Asian women, sometimes very young, are chosen by American and European men, sometimes quite old, through a website much like shopping for clothes or televisions through an internet store. The men then pay the fee, a few emails are exchanged, and the girl instantly becomes the Asian girlfriend and flies Westward with a fiancee visa.

Often, all the girl really wants is a chance at a better life, and maybe the man is also well-meaning and lonely. They are face to face for the first time, then they marry, and for the hundreds, maybe thousands of documented dealings of this nature, the couple marches straight into a bitter, hurtful, sometimes violent, relationship.

There are stories that end well too of course, but we hear less of them. Surely for the great majority of these pairings, the men aren’t really bad people and neither are the women. A guy hears about how sweet and loving those Oriental women are, with values that are very different from their Western counterparts. It is the promise of something deeper, more noble, but nevertheless excitingly different. The girls start off with the dream of going abroad by any means possible, finding work (any work is fine because it is sure to pay better than anything she can get at home) and making enough for a comfortable life for themselves and their folks back home. The Asian girlfriend site listings is a great opportunity in her eyes, and as for marrying a man she doesn’t know, she believes he can never be so bad that she can’t learn to love him eventually.

That was how it was. Now, although the websites still exist, many Asian women are alert to the scams and illegal deals that go on. European and American men still dream of having an Asian girlfriend, and who can blame them? But they are better informed and more sensitive to the cultural balancing act that will probably come with it.

Cross-cultural love will always exist, and as long as the people of Japan, China, the Philippines, and the rest of Asia are brought up differently from those of America, Canada, the UK and the rest, cultural clashes will happen. The differences that make one so attractive to the other are also the causes of misunderstanding.

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Epic P is a writer who has observed, experienced, and hopefully learned the lessons of problematic relationships.